[db] urgh

(no subject)

After 14 years of icon making on and off it is time for me to offically close the book on it.

Like many people I have found it increasingly difficult to find the time and motivation to maintain this hobby.
In my teen years icon making consumed my life and I was diven to be the best and most creative, a feat that is impossible when there are so many that are techically brillant and innovative with each and every icon they produce. This attitude made me angry and jealous of others in the community. Hindsight in my 20s has taught me that I brought my own uniqueness to the community and it was the process of improving my skills that should have always been the goal.

This post is intended as a thank you to you all for your support and coaching during my time on Livejournal. Even those with negative comments about me as a person deserves my thanks; they have allowed me to look at myself with a critical eye and grow as a person. Icon making has been a large part of my life for many years, but now it is time to direct my focus to other areas, each of you have meant the world to me and I thank you all.

I will be keeping this icon community intact for those that wish to access all I have made. Under the cut is some of the icons I've made over the years that I am most proud of, I feel it is a fitting way to finish off my final post on this journal.

Thank you all with all of my heart


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[hannibal] the patient mental

RL update

Hey everyone,
Just wanted to let you all know why I've been MIA.

As some of you know I've been struggling with chronic depression for over 10 years now and I'm on my 6th lot of antidepressants that are barely helping. This year has been particularly rough and I haven't done much but work and sleep the past few weeks. What none of you know is that I am an alcoholic and as of next week I'll be seeing a substance abuse specialist.
Yep... It's no longer me joking around about drunk icons; I've made myself quite sick with the amount I've been drinking over the past few years. I've using liquor as an escape and self-medicating with it and it has gotten out of control.
I've always joked about the volume I drink and always down-played it until the other day, I was crying in a doctor's office over how hard things are and how I don't think I can function without the liquor to take my mind off it... not so weird until you realize I only went to the doctor to get a vaccination.

I appreciate your patience and I'll be getting the comms I run functioning soon and getting help to keep them going.
♥ Hannah